Life as a HSP & Empath

Living as an empath and highly sensitive person has not been easy.  I will admit, I've always felt as though I don't belong here, on this planet Earth. Not in a suicidal way, or a depressive" way, as some may automatically think. But in a "I know this is not my real home, and I'd really like to go back ASAP" kind of way.

Something deep within my heart and soul knows that I don't belong here. Meaning, I am here on Earth to experience myself and certain experiences as a human being for the moment, but I don't live here. I 'normally' reside in the spiritual realm, as an energy form. I don't have the burden and heaviness of a body when I am there. I am light, and free.

Living as a highly sensitive person and empath can be quite draining a lot of the time. Imagine you are a sponge, and whenever you go anywhere, you are constantly absorbing energy from other people, animals, nature itself. When going on a simple shopping trip, you're surrounded by hundreds of other people, all emitting their own energy and emotions. This could range from negative energy, to positive energy, happiness, sadness, joy, depression, anger, frustration, worry, anxieties etc. Now we are all made up of energy, and we all pick up on different frequencies, but some do more than others. And this is where the name "empath" and "highly sensitive" comes into it. Empaths can pick up and literally feel other people's emotions and energy whether they want to or not. Highly sensitive's are just ultra sensitive people with a heightened, 'wired' nervous system. They generally tend to need a lot of down time, rest, and get overwhelmed easily whether it be by bright lights, noise, crowds, or even the beauty or life itself. They generally have a deep appreciation for the small  things and a rich inner life.

Personally, I need a lot of rest. A couple of hours of shopping in a crowded area can drain me of energy for the rest of the day. Spending time around friends or family for an extended period of time can drain me. My body and mind gets overwhelmed and bombarded with a mix of energy and thoughts, that forces me to have to rest and recoup. I need a lot of quiet time to get back into balance, and feel in tip- top shape again.

I can walk into a room and instantly pick up on the vibe and moods of everyone (which is quite normal, as many can naturally do this), however with me, it tends to stick. I can be deliriously happy and joyful one minute, walk into a room where there's been an argument, and people are clearly a bit tense... and then feel heavy, burdened, depressed, and "off" for the next few hours, until I consciously work to 'shake it off' myself, either through being alone, writing, listening to music, or taking walks in nature.

Then there are the times where I attend parties,  and afterwards feel so drained by being surrounded by a lot of people & absorbing their energy, that I have to spend pretty much the entire next day having quiet time to myself to recouperate.

Arguments with people tend to suck me dry of energy. I'm not one to enjoy conflict, so I avoid it at all costs... but confrontations leave me intensely drained, more so than anything else. Take the party example of feeling tired, and double or triple it - along with extra nurturing and looking after myself. I feel emotions more deeply, therefore sadness, frustration, anger, disappointment, etc... are all heightened. Not only do I experience my own emotions during a conflict, but also absorb the other person's negative energy. I feel heavy and drained during those times.

I can go from feeling upbeat, contented and happy, to suddenly feeling emotions of sadness and ill-ease for what I think to be no reason at all, until someone tells me they themselves were feeling that way at the same time, or that someone they knew had perhaps passed away, for example. 

So as you can see, it's not an easy thing feeling like you're constantly "ruled" by your emotions and heightened nervous system. You're more emotional, you often feel much more drained and exhausted than others, and you need a lot more down time to spring back.
It's a constant journey of learning how to manage your empathic and highly sensitive self, so that you don't continuously find yourself drained and in a slump, because of taking on other people's energy.  Learning how to 'protect' yourself, realise when an emotion you're feeling isn't yours, and letting it go the second you feel it... is absolutely crucial to a positive, vibrant, happy existence.

But that said, at the same time, being an empath and HSP is such a blessing and a gift. The positives in my opinion, override the 'side effects'. I am able to connect with others on a deeper level, I am extremely compassionate, empathetic, sensitive, and caring. I have a deep appreciation for the little things, and life itself. Beauty often overwhelms me, and I am passionate about helping, uplifting and inspiring others to be the best that they can be.

My favourite quote that sums it up perfectly, is by Pearl Buck:

"To them (a human creature born abnormally, inhumanely sensitive)... a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death."

Intuitive Experiences

I've been tentative to post this, but feel it's the right thing to do, as it's part of my journey and understanding of myself. It's also completely natural, as everyone (yes, everyone) possesses the wonderful trait called Intuition, and everyone has the ability to pick up on information, it just depends how tuned in you are and how sensitive you are to energy.

The other week was the most recent example of my experience with intuition. The morning after a party, I was outside walking around with my camera and walked near my sister in law's dog. She (the dog) was laying down on the grass and I got an immediate sense that she was not 'quite' dead, but that she would "be" dead. I took a photo because I love taking photos, and thought I was being silly thinking how she looked "dead" when she was just laying there sleeping. My niece aged 7yrs, walked up to me and burst out with "she looks dead" (nice confirmation for my intuitive feelings at that moment).  Of course being around a child I just said "no she's just sleeping".
The next day my sister in law contacts us to say her dog had died. Apparently she went lame, and they had to put her down.

Now this could very easily be passed off as just a coincidence, but I'm learning to realise that what I feel at the time, is intuition, and it's important to trust your feelings or sense of 'knowing'.

How many times have you thought of someone and the next moment that exact person calls you on the phone?  Or how many times do you get a feeling of something not being right, or having a feeling that you shouldn't be somewhere or do something, when later it proves you correct? This is intuition. It's inbuilt in all of us.

I find that personally, my intuition grows stronger and occurs more frequently the older I get. This is partially due to the fact that I am naturally quite sensitive, and partially due to me being aware of this gift, and acknowledging it as often as I can whenever it occurs.

Here I'll share with you a select few of my intuitive moments. I will break them up in sections of dreams, voices, visions, and energy/feelings:

Energy/Feelings:
★ One late afternoon as the sun was setting, I was standing on the balcony of our apartment looking out towards the street. When I came back inside I had an eery feeling of something not being "right",  and had a strong urge to light a candle and close the blinds (which I did immediately). I kept mentioning to my husband how strange the energy was that I was sensing. The next day we got a phone call letting us know that my husbands grandfather had passed away.

★ One morning upon waking, I had an overwhelming urge to stay in bed. Each time I wanted to get out of bed it felt as though my body would just not cooperate, and felt incredibly heavy. Energetically, I just didn't feel right, and felt more sensitive than usual. When I finally did get up, I let my husband know how I was feeling and specifically asked him to be extra gentle with me. I couldn't shake off the negative energy & 'off' feeling. I just knew something would take place that day.
As usual I thought I was being ridiculous, ignored what I was feeling, and proceeded to make plans for that day. We hopped in the car and started our drive on the highway. A short time later, traffic began to slow... and on the opposite side of the road a high speed car accident took place directly infront of us. Immediately all the negative energies I experienced earlier made sense. "Ah ha!" moment. Shaking that accident off, we continued driving at snails pace, still stuck in standstill traffic on our side of the road. Soon enough we witnessed an overturned car & trailer, with a seriously injured cow laying on the side of the road, wide eyed, and kicking it's legs in shock. It was horrific to see. Again, confirming the feelings I had earlier. I learnt then to always trust my intuition.

★ Whilst reading in bed, home alone, with my head flat on the pillow laying very still, I suddenly felt the pillow get pushed downwards to the right of my head, as if someone touched it or laid their hand on it. I felt an overwhelming feeling of calm, contentment, and protection. It was so lovely that I stopped reading and just laid there for 10 minutes absorbing the energy.

Dreams:
★ One night I had a dream that my cousin in law was pregnant. The following morning I let her know about my dream and asked her jokingly whether she was or not. Of course it was denied, but 3 months later when ready to tell the world, she told me that yes they had infact just found out they were pregnant a day beforehand.

Voices:
★ At around age 13 when I was busy occupied with something or other, I heard a clear voice in my mind stating "you will be with a man with blue eyes". I was a little puzzled as it was so random, thinking it was my imagination, but after that somehow I just "knew". I would always tell my my mum and friends that I'm going to end up with someone who has blue eyes. When I met my now husband at 18, he was the one with the blue eyes. The minute I saw him it was the blue eyes that entranced me, and still does to this day. I went on & on about his "blue eyes" to my family and anyone that would listen, as it seemed so pivotal. Looking back, it's as though the eyes were a clear sign to me that this was the man I agreed to become life partners with.

★ One night after having just learned that my aunt was diagnosed with a brain tumour, I was laying in bed quietly reflecting on the news when I heard a voice in my mind say "She is going to die, now." It was very clear, calm, and matter of fact. Deep down I just knew. It was very confirming. She passed away very quickly almost 2 months later to the day.

Visions:
★ I was working an office job, and whilst at the computer I suddenly got a flash (think movie reel vision) of myself in a hospital bed, holding a baby, with my husband sitting beside me leaning over the bed. I could see the room fairly clearly and the window was to the right of me.

★ The morning after my 27th birthday I was in bed after just having woken up, thinking about all the mundane things that had to be done that week, when I had a vision of a little blonde haired boy aged about 2 or 3, riding a tricycle directly towards me (as if I were the lens). I could see his face clearly and had the distinct impression of "perfection" as if he were my son.

★ One night I was laying quietly in bed reading a book next to my husband, when I heard a tiny creak of the door (it was closed), which was enough to make my head turn. I immediately saw a tiny but vibrant gold spark of light dart around the room near the bottom of the door, before it disappeared in what seemed like a split second.

★ During a meditation in my Reiki course, I saw a bright blue 'pearl of light' coming towards me in my mind's eye. Immediately after the meditation was over, I was left with an overwhelming sense, and extremely emotional knowing of having just been "home". I wanted nothing more than to go "back home", spiritually speaking.

So as you can see, intuition and Spirit can come to us in many ways :) I have had many more personal experiences but have selected these few to share.

Maybe you have had similar experiences to what I have listed here - if so, feel free to share your intuitive moments too! ❤

Sensitives

For all those beautiful, sensitive, emotional souls out there who from time to time get lost in this modern world by putting up a brave facade, subconsciously trying to be strong for all those around you ... don't forget to take time out in your day to stop and allow yourself to FEEL. Allow yourself to be the soft, sensitive, and emotional person that you are. It's so important to stay true to the nature you were born with, and acknowledge it's presence within yourself.

What happens when you don't? You end up harbouring negative and stagnant energy that just sits there in your body, accumulating until it manifests into all sorts of nasty things like tension and illness. Your body will most likely feel heavy and weighed down. And mentally you might just feel confused or "off", like something isn't right. That's your body's way of telling you "hello! you're not being the person that you are supposed to be. stop and let yourself feel. Let yourself be sensitive and emotional. Be soft. It's OK."

Sensitivity

Something I'm noticing, is that the older I get the more sensitive I get. Now, I've always been a sensitive person. As a child I've always been highly emotional, right through until the present. But these days I'm becoming sensitive in a different way. I'm now sensitive in a way where I notice the beauty in the world ten fold. I feel the energy of nature so deeply it gives me tingles and am incredibly deep feeling of appreciation. I pick up the subtle energies present in a room, I have moments where I feel extreme gratitude for this life that I lead, and for the people in it. It consumes my entire body and heartspace. When I listen to music it feels as if my whole soul soars into the deep spaces of the universe.
I can cry at the drop of a hat, and not due to unhappiness, due to pure gratitude, appreciation, and love for the universe and everything in it.
We are such miracles, each and every one of us. Nature is beyond anything we could ever conceive in our minds. We are capable of so much more than anyone (including ourselves) gives us credit for. I'm talking about courage, passion, compassion, gentleness, love, growth, forgiveness, empathy, and more.

I'll admit, I'm overwhelmed by life a lot of the time. Both positively and negatively. It can get a little crazy when I wonder to myself "can I get anymore sensitive than I already am?" "where does this level of sensitivity stop?" "what if it doesn't stop, and I am plunged into a world of sensitivity where I can't cope anymore?" - but common sense takes over and I realise it's OK. I came here blessed with these traits, and I was born to feel deeply, and use this as my strength.

On occasion I feel like running down the street shouting something to the likes of "life is beautiful, open your eyes, can't you see?" We spend so much of our time plunged into the depths of our mind, our thoughts, our selfishness, focused on money, work, cars, politics. Endlessly criticizing ourselves and others, judging one another like it's a completely normal and sane thing to do. It's Insane.

We completely miss the simple things that ARE us, and surround us on a daily basis. The fresh air, the flowers, the trees, the birds singing, the feeling of grass on our bare feet, the beauty and strength and love that each and every one of us possess. The loving and divine energy that is around us every second of every day of our Earthly life. Soothing melodies and inspiration that comes from music, and if we sit still long enough to notice - the silence and inner peace and stillness that lies within us all. The heart of who we are. Our soul. Our being. Our essence.

Wake up people! You are incredibly blessed, you are love, you are filled with light and abundant energy. Go outside and smell the fresh air, use your compassion and sensitivity and go out and help those less fortunate than you, go practice random acts of kindness to those you love, or complete strangers. Notice the feeling you get from it. Absorb it and savour it deeply. Life is short. It can be hard, but only as hard as you make it. Think simply. Think selflessness. Think love. Pure white energy. And most importantly, develop your sensitivity. It's not a curse, as society so desperately wants us to believe. It's the most amazing blessing anyone can ever have. Open yourself up, brighten your senses. Don't allow yourself to become guarded, dull and lifeless.
Shine! Shine your light onto others and let them breathe a little easier because you have lived.

The Sensitive Child

I was reading a forum today, when I came across a post by a person asking for tips on how to "toughen up" her "sooky child". She stated that her son (age 3) cries at the drop of a hat, whether at home or when out and about (her other son is not like this).

Now, this immediately rang some bells for me due to the fact that I consider myself to be a highly sensitive person, and I know first hand what it's like being told to "toughen up" my entire life, only making my coping mechanisms worse, not better.

Yes, young children tend to be "sooky"  as they are egocentric by nature. And at times you do have to be stern and teach them to "get over it" (or let go). However, what if you're the small percentage of people (15-20%) in the world born with a nervous system that is highly aware and quick to react to everything?
It's important that parents especially are aware of this trait and figure out whether the traits suit their child or not. A great way to find this out is by taking a test that Elaine N. Aron created:

http://www.hsperson.com/pages/test_child.htm

Imagine being born with this wonderful trait, an inborn temperament that is found in about 20% of children and in all animals, and being told by everyone around you to "toughen up", from birth right through to old age.

If parents don't stop to consider that their child may be sensitive by nature, as an adult, they may become prone to depression, anxiety and shyness. If, however the child is nurtured, understood, and appreciated - they will grow up to be happy, creative, intuitive, empathetic and healthy human beings. Not to mention, grow up to be an adult that may hold a surprising amount of wisdom.